Thoughts by Her

Thoughts Pt. 1 - 2019

How best to explain this to men?

I believe that most men are good - just like most women are. Yet, sometimes it feels like we are living in a world filled with horrible, awful, evil men. We hear about the abuse, the attacks, the assaults that our fellow women have endured. Most men are sympathetic, yes, but it’s to a degree. The lucky majority who haven’t been touched by the red hand of abuse can’t feel the pain that we feel when we hear or read about another survivor’s story.

How best to explain this to men?

I have four best friends. Only one of them hasn’t been raped.

Ask any woman if she’s ever been sexually assaulted or harassed, and the answer will always be yes. Harassment can vary. From something “smaller” like being leered at, to being followed and yelled at.

I had a friend once who walked past a group of construction workers (what a goddamn cliché) and, because she did her best to ignore their onslaught of jeers, catcalls, and general harassment, one of the men threatened to rape her.

How to explain that sick, nervous feeling deep in the pit of your stomach whenever you’re walking somewhere at night, getting harassed, hearing about a fellow woman’s experience, or even having to sit through a scene of sexual violence portrayed on the silver screen?

You know that feeling you get in your stomach when you’re scared and nervous (at the same time)? What about that general feeling of disgust you’d get from something like animal cruelty, blatant acts of racism, or whenever Donald Trump opens his mouth? 

Combine those feelings and I believe you might find yourself experiencing this uniquely femxle ordeal.

Thoughts Pt. II - 2021

How is it that most of my friends have been raped?

Why is it that men seem to think they have an entitlement to our bodies, an entitlement to violate us, an entitlement to forgo consent, an entitlement to conquer us and turn us into victims, leaving us shattered behind. Taking something whole and shattering it into something devastating. When glass is shattered, a tiny million pieces fall apart, and whatever you do, you can’t restore it completely. Tiny particles of glass fall away and will never be reunited as a whole. You can patch up a broken mirror, broken window, broken glass, but you’ll never be able to put it back together. Usually, broken glass is just swept up and thrown away; that’s what men do to us. They’ll drug us, rape us, and then throw us on the side of the road after they’ve gotten what they wanted; they’ll discard us like common trash. They’ll discard us like broken glass.

And yet, once glass is broken, it has the ability to cut someone deep. It can be used as a weapon to hurt, maim, and even kill someone. Pain can be turned into a weapon. Violence creates more violence. 

Honestly, we should all be given the chance to murder our rapists. They shattered us; let’s shatter them back.